No win, No fee For many people, any form of sexual abuse is difficult to comprehend but children being sexually abused by their mother on her children can be even more difficult to take in. One of the many issues to address with this type of sexual abuse is the fact that nobody should/would even consider such activity even if the “signs” were there. We are talking about natural mothers and stepmothers actually abusing the children they have brought up. As always with this subject, there tends to be a focus on child sexual abuse by mothers when this can also occur in later life. Indeed, many victims report that abuse of one kind or another began in their childhood and continued into adulthood.
Definition of sexual abuse
In recent years we have seen the UK government expanding the definition of sexual abuse so that legal and civil action can be taken against abusers. We, therefore, thought it would be useful to actually define sexual abuse in terms of the law. The most basic definition of this kind of abuse is an unwanted sexual act/activity where there is no consent or it is forced on another. Unfortunately, this can take many different forms such as:-
- Sexual activity
- Sexual harassment
- Sexual exploitation
- Online grooming
- Female genital mutilation (FGM)
The subject of FGM has proven controversial over the years because in the eyes of UK law it is classed as sexual assault/sexual abuse. The idea that this is somehow a “cultural thing” simply does not wash today and the authorities have been clamping down for some time. Anyone undertaking such action against their child will be prosecuted if evidence is presented.
Sexual abuse laws
Slowly but surely we have seen a tightening of sexual abuse laws. For example, in 1991 it was deemed unlawful to coerce or force a husband/wife into sexual activity. Previously there had been some confusion regarding rape/sexual assault within a marriage but this was clearly defined as illegal back in 1991. There have been further developments over the years and there is now an array of different actions which are classified as sexual abuse:-
- Rape
- Verbal sexual abuse
- Introduction of pornographic images
- Degrading treatment
- Online grooming
- Forced prostitution
- Forcing individuals to have sex with other people
- Forced involvement in pornographic images/media
- Forcing an individual to engage in acts of a sexual nature
- Forcing an individual to wear clothing of the abusers choice
The range of actions that can be prosecuted under criminal and civil law includes everything from physical sexual abuse to verbal sexual abuse and everything in between. This list is by no means exclusive but it does give you an idea of the range of abuse that can be prosecuted.
Signs of sexual abuse by mother/stepmother
For many people, sexual abuse by a mother/stepmother is the worst type of abuse and difficult to comprehend but the law does not differentiate between abusers. Whether the sexual abuser is a stranger, friend, family member, or parent they are all seen in the same light by UK law. Obviously, it is worth mentioning that the vast majority of children/adults grow up in a loving and caring family environment and the introduction of support services has helped to identify victims and abusers. As a parent, grandparent, friend, or sibling it is very important to be vigilant and aware of activities which “don’t seem right”.
Sexual abuse of this nature can be carried out by a mother whether the parents are together or living apart. They may have shared custody or one party has more access than the other. Indeed we have also seen cases of foster/adoptive parents abusing children placed in their care which then brings local authorities and social services into the picture.
The type of abuse carried out can vary with some of the more common signs including:-
- Forced to enter into any form of sexual activity
- Sexual grooming
- Forced to watch explicit videos
- Forced to view explicit photographs
- Touched in an inappropriate manner
- Forced to watch others taking part in sexual activity whether in person, webcam or pictures
- Coerced into sexual activity with third parties
Aside from the fact that a mother/stepmother sexually abusing their child would not normally cross your mind, abusers are experts in manipulation and will often cover their tracks with threats, violence, and intimidation. They will quite literally do anything to ensure that their sexual abuse/molestation remains a secret, which is why many victims only find the strength in later years to report such illegal activities. For many people, it is only when they leave the “family home” when they are free of the intimidation and manipulation of the abuser that they feel empowered to act.
What are the signs of child sex abuse?
Child sex abuse is obviously a highly emotive and controversial subject and there needs to be evidence before accusations can be made. On the flip side, there is also a tendency to bury your head in the sand rather than face reality and what is happening in front of you. Whether a child or an adult experiencing sexual abuse by their mother there are still many tell-tale signs such as:-
- Excessive secrecy
- Unexplained fear of places/people
- Insomnia
- Constant nightmares
- Mood swings
- Becoming clingy/withdrawn
- Change in eating habits
- Indiscipline around the home and running away
- Self-harming
- Unexplained money/gifts
- Physical injuries such as bruising
- A reluctance to spend time with their mother/stepmother
- Unusual use of “adult terms” in conversation
- Inappropriate activity with objects/toys
- Bedwetting
One of the main issues with identifying sexual abuse by a mother is the fact this will be the last thing on many people’s mind. Taken in isolation, many of the above signs could be put down to “adolescence” but when they begin to mount up they can be a signal of potentially serious issues that need to be addressed.
Grooming by mother/stepmother
For many people who have reported suspicions of sexual abuse by a mother, hindsight often showed that the “evidence” had been before their eyes for many years. Some of the more common signs that a child may be subject to grooming by a mother/stepmother include:-
- Failing to provide the child with a degree of privacy
- Uncomfortable favouritism
- Unwanted excessive physical attention such as cuddling
- Unconventional sleeping arrangements
- Obsession with a child’s sexual development/personal relationships
- Insistence on spending time alone with a child
The process of moving a child to a safer environment can only be undertaken once social services have been involved and evidence gathered. As a consequence, if the level of protection afforded to the child/adult is insufficient and leads to sexual abuse by a mother then the local authority/social services can also be prosecuted. A child’s parents/guardians have a legal obligation to maintain their health and well-being and this is the same for social services/local authorities when they become involved.
Sexually abused by mother compensation claims
The first thing to clarify is the fact that a legal prosecution of sexual abuse by a mother requires a different standard of proof than a civil prosecution. So, even if a legal prosecution has failed for whatever reason it may still be possible to pursue a civil case for compensation. There is obviously a need to provide sufficient evidence to secure a successful outcome but in cases of sexual abuse by a mother, the evidence can vary from “traditional” compensation claims. The matter is further complicated by the fact there are very rarely witnesses to such blatant abuse and indeed some cases involving children/adults with disabilities can be even more challenging.
In general, the type of evidence required to pursue a case of sexual abuse by a mother can take in all or any of the following:-
- Victim statements
- Witness statements
- Copies of electronic communication
- Photographic evidence/video evidence
- Medical examinations
- Police reports
- School records
- Employment records
- Psychological evaluations
- Reported patterns of historic abuse
When pursuing compensation it is possible to bring the abuser and/or social services/local authorities to court. They can be brought in isolation or all parties can be involved in the same prosecution. Even though many of the above examples of evidence may not be enough for prosecution in isolation, the cumulative impact/power of two or more elements of evidence can be overwhelming and lead to a successful prosecution. You will often find that abusers may well have other victims in the past who are often empowered to step forward to support an initial prosecution.
At this point, it is also worth mentioning that the traditional three-year time limit in which to claim compensation does not always apply in sexual abuse cases. If the abuse victim was a child then the court can either appoint a third party to act on their behalf or they can begin a prosecution within three years of their 18th birthday. In many cases, it is not until years if not decades later that the victim feels strong enough to state their case. In this scenario, the courts may well discard the three-year time limit and still allow the pursuit of compensation.
Types of compensation available
There are two basic types of compensation available for those who have been sexually abused by their mother. These are defined as general damages which include a monetary value placed on an array of injuries such as:-
- Physical injuries
- Impact on life
- Development of additional medical/mental conditions
- Impact on family members
- Mental injuries
The second type of compensation is known as special damages and is basically reimbursement of monies spent/lost as a direct consequence of the sexual abuse. This can include any of the following:-
- Cost of medical treatment
- Loss of employment earnings
- Cost of recuperation
- Long-term loss of career income
When looking at “the development of additional medical conditions” there is evidence to suggest that the psychological strains of sexual abuse can lead victims to indulge in alcohol/drugs. While these issues are not necessarily inevitable they are quite common among many victims of sex abuse.
There are now various children’s services/social services which will investigate suspicions of abuse and take the relevant action to protect the child. Aside from prosecuting the actual abuser for compensation, it may be possible to include social services in the event that they failed to protect the well-being of the victim.
If you have been sexually abused by your mother and are considering making a compensation claim, you can call us on 0800 652 1345 for free advice from a solicitor.
